My Birth Story and How Hypnobirthing saved me (Hypnobirthing review)

So I finally have my baby girl with me, Isla Jane born 19th July at 5am! My birth did not go to plan, it could have been an awful experience, it certainly wasn't pleasant but it wasn't as horrific as it could have been thanks to hypnobirthing.

At around 30 weeks pregnant I began a hypnobirthing course with Karen at Babies in Waiting - Hockley. Hypnobirthing had always appealed to me because I am a spiritual person, I meditate and I believe in the law of attraction. Hypnobirthing revolves around training your subconscious through a form of meditation. It's about rewiring your brain to think of labour in a positive way.
In our four, two hour sessions we learnt about how relaxing and giving in to surges (contractions) would aid our labour and reduce pain significantly. We learnt how to not even think of labour as painful but rather a natural process our body goes through to give birth to a new life. If we feared it, we would intensify the experience. It all boiled down to the law of attraction. If we thought postively and trusted our bodies to do the right thing and trusted our babies to do what they needed to do we could have a natural, pain relief free birth experience.

The core belief of hypnobirthing is everything should be as natural as possible, your body will give birth when both you and your baby are ready. That meant no sweeps, no internal examinations and definitely NO INDUCTIONS. The aim was to have a low risk birth, having an induction means you are automatically high risk and subjected to countless internal examinations. Having examinations meant your body would tense up which in turn would slow down or stop your labour so this was something I definitely wanted to avoid.

Unfortunately I went overdue and at around 6 days over my due date I went in to hospital for reduced movements. Everything seemed to be fine but the doctors said they wanted to induce me in two days because I was already overdue and they were concerned about the reduced movements. I cried instantly. This was exactly NOT what I wanted, I was heartbroken and scared. At this point I was in slow labour and the heart monitor was picking up my contractions which were 10 minutes apart. I went home and prayed I would give birth naturally before Tuesday (my induction date). For the next two days my contractions intensified but were still irregular. They would keep me up at night despite only being 7 minutes apart. I rung the labour ward hoping I could go in but they told me I was just in early labour. After 2 days and 2 nights of contractions which lead nowhere and no sleep, I was exhausted and did the very thing I told myself I would never do. I went in to hospital for my induction.

By this point I was fed up and wanted my baby here. I really thought an induction would speed things up despite knowing how awful and unnatural they were. And so began the horrible internal examinations.
I was only 1cm dilated despite my intense pain and now almost regular contractions. So over the next 2 days,  they gave me both a pessary and then the gel to induce my labour. (They say inductions make contractions extra painful due to your body being forced to contract)

Throughout the experience I kept my hypnobirthing techniques at the forefront of my mind.
'Relaxing your muscles will help your baby move down towards the birth canal, work with your baby' I could here Karen's voice guiding me through the pain.
'Breathe in for 10 seconds and slowly release as you have a surge, ride it like a wave'.
I breathed deeply through the pain, I closed my eyes and I focused on my body working in harmony with my baby instead of focusing on my discomfort.
'Relax all of your senses, keep the lights dim, surround yourself with comforting smells and visualise your baby'.
I covered a towel with lavender oil and placed it across my closed eyes, the scent reminded me of times I have felt the most relaxed. I listened to my meditation playlist through earphones on my phone as I breathed through my contractions and visualised waves and my baby moving through my body, ready to make her debut.
It was so hot in the hospital, the hottest summer on record, so I had a handheld fan from amazon which was a god send. I held it to my face and breathed in the cool air. I knew I had to relax to speed things up, I closed myself off from the outside world while James sat by me every step of the way. Every now and then the midwives would come in to offer me pain relief (which I took) and check up on me. I heard a girl next to me scream hysterically in pain. She had been induced 20 minutes before I had, dread swept over me, I didn't want to be in the same boat as her.

'You are so calm, you're doing so well' the midwives told me over and over. All of the pain relief I recieved made me projectile vomit. I could see sympathy in the midwives eyes when I told her I couldn't have any more morphine because it made me too ill, I was managing the intense pain without any medical relief.

When I finally dilated to 4cm I got sent to the labour ward. I was so excited to get into my private room and create my peaceful environment (no more towel on my head to block out the harsh lighting). James and my mum unpacked my diffuser and essential oils and set it all up, we turned off the lights and played relaxing music through a speaker.
For hours i rocked on a ball, breathing through my contractions which were coming in thick and fast, one after another -back to back. I kept calm, I never screamed, I knew it would do no good. After a whole night in the labour ward, at around 3am they examined me again - I HADN'T DILATED! by this point I had been in hospital for two days and hadn't slept in four whole days, my body was tiring.
 'I can't wee' I cried out. I was in so much pain and now I couldn't even empty my bladder properly. I was beginning to lose my mind. The midwife had a word with the doctor and told me she would fit a catheter as they thought my bladder was blocking the way for my baby to descend, I felt like my body was giving up on me.

As each minute passed my contractions intensified, the pain was consuming me. After an hour of waiting to see if things progressed, they examined me again and told me their was still no change and they were now going to induce me again. And that's when I lost it.
'Please can I have a C section - I need a C section, I can't do this anymore, I've been in labour for four days, I can't do it, I'm exhausted, I can't physically do this anymore'
I never thought it would come to this, I never imagined I would end up having major surgery. I hadn't prepared myself for this but I could feel my body giving up on me and both my Mum and James were worried about me, we all agreed it would now be the best thing to do. SO off I went, as high as a kite (gas and air) to the alien biopsy like room ready to be cut open while I was wide awake.

By this point my contractions were back to back, the numbing injection they put into my spine felt like a warm blanket of comfort taking away all of the horrible pain I had been battling for 96 hours. The actual surgery felt like they were just prodding my stomach to see where they needed to make the incision. I hadn't realised they had cut me until they told me they were taking the baby out!
My doctor was amazing, she made me feel safe and she gave me the neatest scar my midwives had seen! At the end of my ordeal my midwife told my mum that she had never had anyone so calm before. I had been her calmest patient so far and she had been the third midwife to say that.

I am so proud of how I held it together and I am so grateful for my hypnobirthing experience with Karen. Her techniques and philosophy saved me mentally which ultimately helped me and my baby physically. Throughout my intense labour, my baby had never become distressed. Although I didn't have the ideal birth experience or the classic hypnobirth experience, I benefited from the course and relied on everything I had learnt to calm my usually anxious brain. It taught me to trust my body, to overcome fear with faith and self belief and to cope with the worst of situations for the sake of my baby. So many people around me kind of patronised me and said 'Shame hypnobirthing didn't work out for you' like they knew it was never going to work, like hypnobirthing was all a load of nonsense. But those people do not understand the depth of hypnobirthing. It worked for me in ways I can never fully explain. It really was my saviour and I would recommend it to every pregnant woman out there.

So to anyone practising hypnobirthing or who is interested in going down that route - Know that even if your birth becomes complicated - hypnobirthing calming techniques works in every situation.

Find more info on Karens course here: http://www.hypnobirthing-in-essex.co.uk/node/146/franchise
x

When to go to the Antenatal Ward

So the Antenatal Triage take you in after 17 weeks of pregnancy. So if you have any issues in regards to your pregnancy, you would go there for an emergency check. Anything minor they tell you to go to your doctors for, but I would always ring them for advice because it's hard to know what is classed as an emergency in pregnancy world.

One thing you hear over and over in pregnancy is to keep track of your babies movements and if they change or reduce, you should tell your midwife. Now I haven't had a community midwife this pregnancy because she has been on leave. So the number I have for her should basically be null and void. If I have had any worries I have rung the antenatal ward for advice, much to their displeasure.

I personally have been up the ward about four times during pregnancy. Three times were for reduced movements and one was for spotting. All times they have hooked the bump up to a heart monitor and have tested my urine (sent it off to the lab) as well as my blood pressure. So they check you more thoroughly than a community midwife or doctor would.

If hadn't gone up there those few times I wouldn't have known I had GBS in my urine which is linked to premature labour. When they find Group B strep in your urine (opposed to just a swab) they like to treat you with antibiotics instantly, I don't know the reasons why but it is obviously a threat to the baby if they feel the need to treat you on the spot. So they gave me antibiotics to take orally for a week. They found GBS in my urine twice, once at 28 weeks and again at 37 weeks but both times I went there for different reasons (nothing to do with Group B Strep). Doctors do not test for group b strep in urine unless you insist, so I felt like everything happened for a reason for me to go down there and have everything checked out because although my other issues were nothing in the end, I did need treatment for something I was unaware of.

Every time I rung them up I contemplated it for ages. 'Am I being a hypochondriac? Probably.' But I never wanted to risk my babies health because I felt a bit embarrassed or felt as though I was an inconvenience. I joined a lot of facebook groups for babies due around the same time as me and a lot of them said DO NOT overthink going in for a check, if you feel like something is off then you are probably right. Some even said they had spates of going in for checks daily. You should never feel like you're being a drama queen because what if your instinct is telling you something is off like it was for me.

So the bottom line is, don't panic throughout your pregnancy but if you do have random moments of feeling like something is off or not quite right, I would recommend calling the antenatal ward. No symptom or lack of movement is overlooked like it could possibly be by a GP. Your local doctors are not trained in pregnancy related issues. I have even had to explain to my GP that if Group B Strep is found in your urine you need antibiotics and NO it does not always flag up as a water infection. They can't seem to wrap their heads around it because generally GBS is not something that is diagnosed or treated for by default.  So I have insisted for swabs and samples to be sent off a couple of times because I am not risking anything!

P.S I recommend joining Facebook groups, even the American ones  - Mine are 'Babies Due in July 2018' I'm in about 5 different ones and they have really helped my mentality when I've had worries and questions.

Stupid things I've cried about in Pregnancy

You haven't experienced the true feeling of hormonal until you've been pregnant. I never really noticed a massive difference in  my mood until I found myself crying most days and thought hey this isn't normal. They say the first and last trimester are the worst for this and my god has this been true! During the first trimester I was an insecure mess, fast foward to this last trimester and i'm an angry bitch. I no longer feel insecure - i'm just fed up! So I thought it would be funny to reflect on the things that have angered me or upset me to tears which are actually quite ridiculous.

1. Dreams/ Fear your partner will cheat on you because you're a fat moody whale - The other night I dreamt my partner was cheating on me with a nightclub dancer called Sophie Dowell (yes I invented a full name and instagram profile in my dream). So in my dream I found out he was arranging to meet up with this Sophie and they were messaging over Instagram. I woke up FUMING, thinking it could be real. So I instantly IG searched Sophie Dowell because I obviously thought it was all a sign, and came up with nothing. The nightclub dancer doesn't exist but that didn't stop me from being suspicious and angry for a whole day, I maybe even shed a tear of frustration over a story I had created lol! I now make it a standing joke, if he's on his phone a lot i'm like 'Are you messaging Sophie?' haha.

2. Dreams, again. - I've never been one to sleep talk but during this pregnancy I have woken myself and my partner up by hysterically laughing. It starts off as a unconscious laugh then I become aware that i'm laughing and then I can't stop because I find it so funny that i'm laughing hysterically at nothing and then I start crying because I can't stop and realise i'm actually mental.

3. Situations that haven't happened and probably never will - So i'm an anxious freak, it's a joke how anxious I am. I'm always ready for the worst outcome. So naturally I have made up these horrible scenarios like visitors making my baby dangerously ill because they've visited her with a bug or my baby dying of SIDS because smokers have hugged her and ignored my pleas to keep their clothes smoke free. Or I've imagined that she's taken away from me/ me and my partner separate and she has a step mum and i'm pushed out. I'm not exaggerating when I say I have had full on panic attack crying moments, you know when you can't catch your breath/ make your face swell up, all from living out these scenarios in my head. I suppose it all comes from not feeling in control.

4. Feeling like a handmaid (Handmaids Tale) - Recently I watched the whole Handmaids tale box set and am now up to date with season 2. I'm so susceptible to the emotions and storylines in TV shows, I feel like I have lived their lives. So naturally, I have had moments where I've cried because I feel like a handmaid. 'Will this baby even be mine?'
'Will other people take over, will I even make my own parenting decisions?'
'Will my home and baby be taken over by unannounced or forced visitors?'
'Will I be respected as the mother of this child or am I just a vessel that's creating a baby for other peoples's happiness.' I am DRAMATIC. I cried in the car with my partner the other day and said things like 'She won't even be my baby, you could so easily force me out of the picture, we won't even have the same last name so she will be yours and your family's baby, i'm just the handmaiden'.  - how he puts up with my theatrics is beyond me.

5. Driving past anything that relates to animals - It all began with me driving past an animal rescue van going 50mph on a 60mph road. At first I thought FFS hurry up, then I saw the animal rescue sign and imagined all the little animals in the van and thought that's why they're driving slow and then I started balling! Now I cry if I see a horse in a field because I question their happiness (when they're most likely fine), and the other day I got upset over the thought of hamsters being disposable like they aren't respected as actual living things. They have to live in a small cage every day for the rest of their lives and I've heard of so many getting crushed because they've escaped or they've ended up in the washing machine and people don't seem to be horrified?! Oh god here I go again.

So that's a round up of random things that have made me cry during this pregnancy. I am actually mental.
Has anyone else been as mental as me during pregnancy?

-Robyn x

How I Relax During Pregnancy/ Imperial Candles Review

This last trimester - from about 35 weeks in particular, I have been so so angry! Everything angers me, I feel like the biggest brat in the world! Finding the right mind frame to relax is so challenging because once i'm in a mood, everything is shit (lol). One thing that does influence my state of mind a lot is smell. I recently got sent a candle made by Imperial Candles and my god, the smell of their products definitely lift my mood. I just love a good scent!

What I absolutely love about this brand is that their products are VEGAN. Not only are their candles made of Soy but none of their products are tested on animals which is bloody amazing. Another fun thing about their candles is that they insert a jewel in every candle, these jewels could be worth up to £2000! So it's like a lucky dip/ treasure hunt and relaxing candle in one. The whole jewel thing makes my inner child so happy, i'm so excited to find out what jewel I have! Go to their website to see what kind of jewels are inside their candles. I've seen some stunning rings!

So my particular candle is called Pink Flamingo. They describe the scent as exotic bamboo and energising grapefruit. Now i'm rubbish at describing scents but what I can tell you is that it smells like a lovely perfume, a classy smell which adds a pleasant atmosphere to the room rather than a tacky sweet smell.

They also do a range of other scent related products like Shower Jelly! I haven't tried it out yet but I have smelt it and it smells just as nice as the candle.

So to round up my review/ relaxing tips and tricks - I recommend filling your space with a good scent and focusing on an activity which calms your mind. For me that's watching a netflix series and being super lazy. Or I attempt a guided meditation, it depends how patient I feel.

Find my candle here: https://www.imperialcandles.co.uk/shop/pink-flamingo/
Also have a browse of their website because I found their products and ideas fascinating!

-Robyn x

Third Trimester Update & Workout Routine

My third trimester has actually felt easier than my second which makes no sense! But I do think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am remaining active and fit. Here are some things I've noticed this trimester (currently 33 weeks 2 days):

- I can still bend down and get things off of the floor easily (thanks to squatting)

-I can still pick up my forever growing German shepherd puppy

-I hardly ever experience back aches (only sometimes in the evening)

- I'm still going out for hour long dog walks with my mum and keeping up conversation (not too out of breathe)

- I can still put my own shoes on (lol)

_ can still shave my legs in the shower without feeling like i'm going to topple over

- Apart from my baby bump, I've only put noticeable weight on my legs. My whole body is a layer chubbier but not enough for me to notice or feel insecure about

- I'm still the same bra size - back & cup (where are my preggo boobs?)

The bad bits:

- I get cramp at night if i stretch out my legs too much

- I need to wee every half an hour, i'm not exaggerating

- I get tired even quicker

- My anxiety is picking up (because i'm not organised yet at all)

- Sometimes my stomach feels so stretched, it's uncomfortable and balloon like

Can I just add that I am by no means the type of person who is naturally slim. I have to constantly workout to remain in shape. I will never have a super small waist or skinny legs because I enjoy food too much. I workout to feel comfortable with my body and to keep my weight down, as soon as I stop I pile on weight like there's no tomorrow. So to keep to a comfortable weight, I have been working out 2-3 times a week every week. I have a swimming membership and aim for 35 lengths each time. But when I feel lazy I tend to just stick to YouTube home workouts which last for 20 minutes to half an hour and then I add on my own arm routine while I watch Homeland on Netflix. What i'm doing must be working because I'm eating like a horse and am remaining on OK size, plus all the people who examine my stomach have said I have really good ab muscles - one midwife asked if I was a dancer or horse rider! No, i'm just a YouTube worker outer, lol.

Working out has SO many benefits during pregnancy, here are a few:

- Thanks to your ab muscles - Labour may be easier/ faster!

- You lower your risk of Gestational Diabetes (I was told I had two factors that made me more at risk of getting this disorder so I really focused on reducing the risk)

-You're less likely to get backache (true in my case and I suffered with back ache pre pregnancy)

-You may boost your child's athletic potential

-You'll bounce back faster after birth ( this has been on my mind the whole time, I can't wait to wear my normal clothes again)

- You may sleep better (true in my case, when I took a weeks break I couldn't sleep at night)

There are loads more benefits for both you and your baby, have a google!

(source: https://www.fitpregnancy.com/exercise/prenatal-workouts/33-reasons-exercise-now)

Without further adieu here are my two GO TO WORKOUTS:

Team these with a few basic arm workouts with light weights & you have yourself a full body work out! 

Enjoy and remember to not over do it x

Group B Strep

This is going to be quite a deep post but I have always said I want to be open and honest on my blog and most importantly, raise awareness about any issues I encounter in hopes to help other people.

When I got pregnant, it was all new to me. I hadn't prepared myself, I wasn't taking folic acid for the first four weeks which apparently is a must. I wasn't aware that infections down below caused pre-term labour, there was just so much I didn't know about. Little things that potentially made a big impact. My mum helped educate me along the way because her waters broke with me at 29 weeks (I was born at 34 weeks), so she knew there were plenty of risks I needed to be aware of. One risk that took us both by surprise was a condition called Group B Strep.

This is where I strongly believe in the celestine prophecy (everything happens for a reason, people cross your path for a reason, you are made aware of things for a reason). My mum had recently been chatting with somebody who had a premature birth (32 weeks), it was a shock for this person as she didn't know anything was wrong so an early labour took her by surprise. After a shocking but successful birth, she was told that she had Group B Strep. A condition which is linked to premature labour, a condition which nobody had tested her for, a condition the NHS doesn't even bother telling us about. Her baby was healthy despite the risks and her story ends happily but she wanted to raise awareness as she was aware of the damage it causes when left undiagnosed (I have known two people to lose their newborns from the virus). My mum relayed the story to me and I had a google. What I learnt was this:

'Group B Streptococcus (GBS) is a normal bacterium which is carried by 20-40% of adults, most commonly in the gut, and for up to 25% of women, in the vagina, usually without symptoms or side-effects.

GBS can occasionally cause infection, most commonly in newborn babies, sometimes in adults and, very rarely, during pregnancy and before labour. GBS is not a sexually transmitted disease. Treatment of a woman and her partner carrying GBS does not prevent re-colonisation.

There are two types of GBS infection in newborns: early and late-onset:

• Early-onset GBS infection is more common (approximately 2/3 of cases in babies) and occurs when the baby is up to 6 days old; a key symptom is the rapid development of breathing problems, associated with blood poisoning.
• Late-onset GBS infection – usually presenting as sepsis and meningitis – occurs between age 7 days and up to age 3 months. After 3 months’ old, GBS infection in babies is extremely rare.

GBS is recognised to cause preterm delivery, maternal infections, stillbirths and late miscarriages; preterm babies are known to be at particular risk of GBS infection as their immune systems are not as well developed.' - https://gbss.org.uk'

I was only 20 weeks pregnant but knew I wanted to be tested for it immediately. Now this is where it gets frustrating. The NHS do NOT test for GBS, they feel it isn't necessary which is absolutely shocking considering the damage it potentially causes. So I looked online and found that you could order private tests  for around £30 which is definitely worth it. I however, ended up going to the doctors for a general check up/ swab as I have suffered a lot with infections in the past and wanted to be on top of all that while being pregnant. I asked the nurse if Group B Strep was tested for at the same time (it covers BV, Thrush etc), and she said it did which was such a relief. She then went on to say that normally they wouldn't test for it if you were not pregnant as it's a harmless bacteria (to us) but while pregnant it's flagged up if found. Meanwhile, I had a consultation with my high risk doctor at the hospital (as i'm on thyroid medication), and I asked if he thought I would be prone to GBS and told him of my intimate health struggles of the past, he didn't even take his eyes off of the computer and robotically replied, ' I don't think so' , in other words he wasn't interested as the NHS do not take GBS seriously at all.

Low and behold, my swab came back as positive for Group B Strep. I wanted to cry. I had read so much about it, heard so many negative stories surrounding it so all of a sudden I felt like my whole pregnancy was at risk. I felt alone because the NHS just didn't seem to care but I was all too aware of how much damage this bacteria could do. I told my midwife and she put a big sticker on my hospital notes so that staff would be aware of the condition when I go in to labour. The only treatment they offer is 4 doses of intravenous antibiotics during labour, I've heard 4 hours be mentioned a few times so it would suggest that your labour has to last for a minimum of 4 hours for the antibiotics to take effect. This is supposed to clear the GBS from your system so the baby doesn't contract it. The problem is, some people do not last long enough and do not get the full amount of antibiotics and then the baby gets infected, and on the flip side if your labour lasts for too long the baby is at risk again. It's all one big gamble and the NHS have had a lot of losses on their hands because of the poor organisation of monitoring and treatment. 

There are poor girls out there who don't even know they have GBS, and give birth and then get diagnosed after their babies are fighting meningitis and sepsis. It is awful and that's why I wanted to make as many people aware of this condition as possible. 

I personally pray that I get all of my antibiotics before giving birth, I will be going in to hospital as soon as I start contracting because ideally you need the antibiotics before your waters break as that's when the baby is vulnerable to infection. I have also looked into natural remedies to kill the bacteria before I go into labour. I'm also going to insist that my baby have their blood work done before leaving the hospital (if found in their blood they get their own dose of antibiotics). And that's all I can do. It's frustrating because it's the unknown but it's also something we do not have much control over.

If anyone wants to talk to me about natural remedies, please email me. Or google how to cure GBS naturally. I am treating it externally and internally (probitoics/ supplements etc). I can't say that it has worked for me yet as there are no symptoms to judge if you have it or not, but I would like to do all that I can on top of having antibiotics to help my baby have a healthy start in life.

- On a side note, because of this ordeal me and my baby have to go through during labour, I have planned not to have any visitors in the first week. I know I will be paranoid, looking out for signs of GBS infection. She will be my china doll, vulnerable to everything. Because of the antibiotics, her immune system will be non existent. I'm going to have a no smoker rules - if somebody who smokes wants to see the baby in their first few months of life, that means not smoking that day so it's not in their breath, on their hands or on their clothes as any interaction with second hand nicotine has already been linked to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, and my baby will have an even lower immune system than average. I will be a protective bitch for while because i'm absolutely riddled with fear. 

Feel free to email me at: RobynJaneblog@gmail.com

Robyn x

When do you start feeling kicks with an Anterior Placenta?

So as per usual, my body has decided to be a little bit difficult and has given me an anterior placenta. An anterior placenta is nothing to worry about, all it means is your placenta is located at the front of your abdomen, where as most people's are slightly at the side, or at the back - anywhere but the front. Having the placenta at the front in pregnancy means you won't feel your baby move as much as the next person. I remember finding this out at my 12 week scan, so I haven't been worried about it but it is disappointing having to wait so long to feel your baby move while others are documenting their movements with excitement.

I read that if you do not feel your baby move by 25 weeks, anterior placenta or not, you should tell your midwife. So in my mind I always thought, if I don't feel anything by then, that's when i'll worry.

I remember feeling twinges in my first trimester and second trimester which I thought could be kicks. But they were painful, like sharp stitch like pains and kicks are not supposed to be painful. Whenever I asked other mums what the kicks felt like, they would say they feel like butterflies or bubbles bursting. My twinges definitely felt nothing like that so I put those down to growing pains and patiently waited for the 'butterflies' to kick in. Every time I went to see my midwife or spoke to other pregnant women, they would ask me if I feel the baby move and I would always feel so negative about it because I felt NOTHING. My midwife would always tell me that the baby is too small to kick with force, and because the placenta is at the front, they are kicking the placenta before it reaches my stomach.

Finally at 21 weeks - during my 22nd week, I felt a kick! Because at this stage the baby was bigger and stronger, my kicks were not subtle. They did not feel like butterflies at all, more like big bubbles bursting/ little pokes. It's funny how one day it all just changed, and from then on I felt movement everyday. Sometimes I only felt her once a day which worried me but it's normal to not have a pattern that early on in pregnancy. Now at 25 weeks I can actually see the movement from the outside, it's amazing and feeling my baby move comforts me so much. I have been told to not start kick counting until 28 weeks as that's when the NHS care about movement/ decreased movement. Before that its too early on and less movement is considered normal.

Apart from the inconvenience of not feeling my bubs kick as soon as others felt theirs, anterior placentas are completely fine in pregnancy. Panic over!

When did you start feeling your baby kick?

-Robyn x

Second Trimester Hormones!

I am a very sensitive person, any kind of emotion - especially anger, tips me over the edge. If i'm angry - I'll cry, if i'm frustrated - I'll cry, if i'm overwhelmed with empathy - i'll cry. It doesn't take much to make me cry and i'm talking pre pregnancy!
Since being pregnant I have cried most days. If I see something cute on TV i'm crying, if I feel frustrated i'm crying, if I google pregnancy scares - i'm crying. There came a point where I honestly worried about my mental health and googled 'Is it safe to cry every day when pregnant'. How ridiculous am I! If I hadn't been like this before I would actually worry that I have some kind of post natal depression but I think it's just my personality. As my mum always says 'you were born anxious'.
I'm not worried because these emotions never last and when I'm happy I wonder why I was ever sad in the first place. But that's pregnancy for you isn't it, we have to suffer these comical highs and lows.

One emotion that is definitely taking centre stage this pregnancy is anger. I get soooo angry at every little thing that offends me, I am having NONE OF IT! Let me give you a few examples of what has been WINDING me UP!:

-Road rage. Arrogant drivers on the road. I haven't beeped so much in my life. People cutting me up = BEEP. People who beep me out of impatience = they get the middle finger. I had a middle finger war with a couple of vans the other day, oh and a big lorry (while in my Fiat 500 haha)! WHO AM I?! I just have this overwhelming need to defend myself, I will not be disrespected!

- Being patronised. So this morning I had to ring my mum at 8am and cry on the phone because I was overcome by an immense wave of pure anger and frustration. We are in the process of selling our flat and I am also working from home so juggling surveyors and viewers around my clients has been hard. I had a shoot booked in at midday and my partners mum text me the day before to let me know that the estate agent had booked an appointment at my flat from 11-1pm. It doesn't help that this estate agent is the stereotype patronising male who comes across so rude via text. I felt utterly disrespected that he hadn't thought to tell me AT ALL!, so I had a text battle with him and said things like 'I have to work, if I mess my clients around, I lose work meaning we won't be able to afford to move anyway!' I'm sorry do you think my work is a joke? So your job is important but mine can be sacrificed? SO yeah I cried, because all that anger had to come out some how. Arrogant males literally bring out the warrior in me.

-Not feeling in control. Whatever I eat I google 'Is *** safe to eat in pregnancy' and find out that 70% of food is basically considered dangerous. This morning I googled 'Is raw cacoa safe in pregnancy?' The answer was Yes and NOOOO, but I had to draw the line there because I love my daily chocolate smoothies and if you really look into everything, nothing is technically safe. Also, I can never get a hold of my midwife, so I find myself googling everything that concerns me which has wrecked my mind frame. So I often find myself worrying about things that I don't know if I should be worrying about? It's tiring.

-Seeing unreasonable behaviour online General ignorant views. I'm talking about people who share photos of animals and can't see the cruelty behind the 'funny video' or 'cute dog (bred to mutation)'. People who disrespect and mock vegetarians and vegans because we actually care about the planet and the animals who share it with us. Small minded comments which deeply offend me personally. I am commenting on everything. So I apologise if I offend you along the way. I just get a spell of dizzy rage posses me and all of a sudden my keyboard warrior hands are posting a defensive rant.


But on the flip side for the past few nights I have woken myself up from laughing in my dreams. Hysterically laughing. I am actually mental.

Is anyone else as mad as me? Or were you as mad as me when you were pregnant?

Follow me at:
www.instagram.com/robynJane_x
www.twitter.com/robynjaneblog - I post tweet rants which may be comical to some !

- Robyn x

How to predict your baby's gender at 12 weeks

If you want to find out the gender of your baby, you probably will hate waiting for the 20 week scan. I found myself googling Mayan gender prediction charts, Chinese calender's, symptoms of carrying boys & girls, I loved trying to guess (they were all wrong by the way). The best way, and most medically accurate way of predicting a baby's sex is via your 12 week scan photo (which worked for me!)

Half way through my epic google trail, I came across forums where people were saying they were told their baby's gender at their 12 week scan!?  -And that's when I came across the 'Nub theory'.

'Between 11-13 weeks, all babies are said to have a 'nub' between their legs called the genital tubercle, and according to this theory the angle of the nub will indicate whether it's a boy or girl. It's said that if the nub is over 30 degrees up from the spine, it's a boy - but if it's under that then it's a girl.' - Source

By this point, my 12 week scan had come and gone but I did have a photo. So I googled examples of girl nubs vs boy nubs and compared them to my own. The nub prediction did end up being correct, even though my baby's nub was unclear in the image. Some scan photos do not really show any kind of nub, but some are there, loud and clear. I now see people's 12 week scan photos and KNOW if they're having a boy or girl. Boy nubs are pretty obvious, girls are harder because you could argue there is no nub in the image.

Examples below including my own scan image:

My Scan Photo:

Have fun predicting your baby's gender! Or if you're like me - predicting other people's baby's genders too! But remember to keep your opinions to yourself, some people would rather not know.

Follow me at:

www.instagram.com/robynjane_x 

Robyn x

Second Trimester Update & Gender Reveal!

So currently I am 22 weeks + 1 day! - is that 5 months? I lose track! All I know is I have March, April, May and June before i'm due beginning of July! I'm kind of preparing myself for the end of June, just in case baby is early.

So much has happened in the space of a few weeks. We had our 20 week scan and I had a couple of other tests which have put me under the high risk umbrella. One of them being a thyroid problem. I have been on thyroid medication since I was 18, so I always knew that they would have to keep an eye on that during pregnancy. Having a dysfunctional thyroid can lead to a small baby, which would mean they would deliver the baby earlier than planned. So they have booked me in for an extra scan to measure the growth of bubs. My midwife is so good, she explained how although I am classed as high risk now, it doesn't mean I will be high risk when it comes to delivering the baby. They just need extra checks in place during my pregnancy to make sure baby is growing OK. So I'm not worried at all, if anything I am happy I am getting the extra checks. There is another complication which I want to talk about in a separate post. It's something that took me by surprise and has completely messed up my ideal birth plan. I want to talk to my midwife first and get more information before I go writing about it. But I do plan to be very open about everything because I feel like it could help others who are in the same position.

Gender Reveal
Before we had the 20 week scan, we had a 16 week private gender scan. I just could NOT wait! I wanted to be able to connect with the little soul growing inside my body. Without knowing the gender, we kept calling the baby IT and THEY. I wanted to be able to say he or she and even give them a name, to make them a real person. Up until knowing the gender, none of it felt real.
At the 16 week scan, they had trouble getting baby to be in the right position so I had to go for a walk and come back after 20 minutes. After a lot of jumping up and down, the lady managed to get a look at 'the parts' and told us we were having a girl. I was absolutely over the moon because I always thought I would have a girl, and I kept dreaming/ seeing a little girl in my meditations yet everyone around me, even spiritual people were telling me I was having a boy so I was feeling a bit disconnected with the baby, like I didn't know them, so the news instantly made me feel at one with my mini me.  I have a you tube video up which talks about how I psychically knew I was having a girl which I will link below if anyone is interested in that paranormal stuff.

We waited until the 20 week scan confirmation before we 100% believed we were having a girl. But the doctor did confirm the sex and said the scans are very rarely wrong. The fact that we had two separate scans at different stages, saying the same thing gave me a lot of confidence. So now we call our baby SHE and we actually have named her. But i'm keeping the name a secret until she's born, just in case we change it ! But it's so lovely being able to buy girly things, and to be able to plan her nursery and visualise what she will look like when she's a real person. If it were up to just me, I would find out the gender for my next pregnancy too.

The Baby Show - London Excel - My Experience

On Friday, me, my boyfriend James, my mum and James's mum braved the icy road and travelled to the Baby Show in London Excel, and my god was it worth it. First of all the journey was an absolute breeze, living in Essex, it's an easy journey to the outskirts of London and because of the weather paired with the fact that we went on a week day, the Excel underground car park was pretty much empty. All of the exhibitors had set up a few days before the show so the weather didn't effect that part of the event.

The show started at 9:30am and we arrived at 10:30am. My first impressions were that it seemed fairly small and fairly quiet, but oh boy the event was definitely not small. As we walked around the stalls, taking in all the information given from pretty much every stand, I soon realised that getting around the show would take hours - all day in fact. We used all the time we were given, giving ourselves a very snappy lunch break. We ended up leaving at closing time, with my last purchase bought in the knick of time.

As a first time mum and somebody who just hasn't been brought up around babies (my brother is only 2 years younger than me), I have absolutely no idea about what babies NEED and what I as a mum will need, so I went to the show with a basic list and an open mind. I hadn't even decided on a specific brand of pram - which made the shopping experience that much funner.

The Show Set up
The show had over a hundred stalls, an almost overwhelming amount. They also had a stage which had talks/ displays etc which personally I didn't have time for - I was too busy shopping! I did want to catch the first aid talk as I'd like to comfort my mind by being aware of those things, but unfortunately I missed the time slot. I couldn't help but laugh at one show - the maternity show - where models with bumps (pretty sure they were fake) were modelling maternity wear, prams and baby wear with their model (real) babies. It felt like I was in a spoof for a moment and James (boyfriend) definitely had a 'Oh god where am I' moment.

The Brands, The DEALS!
Every brand which was on my list were there such as Tomee Tipee, MAM, Silver Cross, Mothercare, Chicco, Joie, Sleepyhead, waterwipes and every brand of pram you could imagine plus more!
Almost every stand offered a freebie, we left with about 6 free newborn bottles worth £6 each, dummies, a couple of baby grows and lots of small product samples.
I'll give you a brief summary of what I bought at the show and the savings we made, perhaps not everything because I would be here all day:
- Chicco Next2Me Dream Crib 2 with mattress and two mattress covers, Chicco Next2 Stars projector, Chicco Feeding Pillow bundle - RRP £269 we paid £229 
-Sleepyhead Pillow 0+ months - RRP £130 we paid £105 via mothercare
- Tommee Tippee Digital Video Movement and Sound Monitor, Tommee Tipee no touch forehead thermometer & Tomee Tipee Nursery Bin RRP £277 all together - we paid £155!
-  Tutti 3 Piece Nursery with a mattress and changing mat add on - £900
- MAM Anti Colic microwave steriliser set RRP £29.99 we paid £15
We also bought plastic backed bibs, big muslin cloths, a fabulous changing bag and the big one - A PRAM! 

The pram we chose is from a fairly new and VERY underrated brand called Mee-Go. Mee-go is a British brand and we were able to meet the designer at the show who had a quick chat with us and explained how he had previously worked as an engineer at Norton motorbikes. I personally love that it's a very personal brand and I know that if we have any problems, they will be a phone call away. We went for the Milano model because we were looking for a pram with good suspension so we're able to walk off road if we wanted to. We were originally looking at the Silver Cross Pioneer but compared to Mee-Go, it was extremely overpriced for what it offered. What I like about Mee-Go Milano is that the bottom tray is covered up and washable, the suspension is adjustable - we can turn it on and off, the fabric was very similar to the Pioneer Brompton look, the carrycot had adjustable lie modes so the baby could be at a slight angle if needed, it was very easy to take apart and fold down and the base even has a handle so that it's easy to carry and they offered a travel bundle which included the car seat, buggy attachment and an isofix base. All in all it came to £649 - WAY cheaper than the Silver Cross Pioneer and in my opinion, a better design. I'm not one to go for looks, obviously I want a decent looking pram(and the Milano is lovely) but trends do not bother me at all. I wanted a pram which was high off of the ground and practical as well as comfortable and safe for bubs. I hate prams like Egg, Bugaboo and the current trends because they are such small frames and  very low prams in comparison to the Silver Cross and Mee-go models. Mee-Go is definitely worth checking out! (https://www.mee-go.co.uk)

So that just about sums up my Baby Show Experience. I am SO glad we went, the savings we made are absolutely insane. I loved the whole experience and will definitely be back when I need a high chair etc! TOP TIP: If you are going tomorrow or plan to go to the next show, be aware that you can haggle with the sellers and ask them to throw in freebies! 

- Robyn x

Working out during pregnancy

I was always worried about working out during pregnancy, but I am also really worried that I will put on too much weight. A lot of people use pregnancy as an excuse to let themselves go and eat whatever they like (I am guilty of this) but we shouldn't! Sometimes cravings take over (mine being nutella on toast), but I really am trying not to eat cake everyday. However, I am eating worse than I would usually eat (it's hard when i'm totally off of vegetables), my diet is very carby so to counteract that and to keep my risk of gestational diabetes/ high blood pressure down - I workout regularly every week without fail.

From what I have read (I am not a doctor), the number 1 guideline for working out in pregnancy is to continue to do the workouts you are used to doing, but bring it down a notch. For instance - I used to do treadmill interval sprints which made me feel sick and dizzy - I wouldn't do those when pregnant, but I am doing a lighter form of cardio. To keep my paranoia and worries at bay, I have been following pregnancy workouts on YouTube. Because they are tailored to pregnant women, I don't worry about if i'm over doing it. If I do ever feel dizzy, I just click pause and sit for a minute and then get back to work. You have to listen to your own body. I have also been continuing to lift light weights once a week in between my cardio sessions. My midwife said not to workout more than 3 times a week, so my week looks a bit like this:

Monday - Pregnancy cardio workout with added arm exercises using light weights  (a few taken from strength regime)
Tuesday - Rest/ Dog walk
Wednesday - Strength training with light weights at home or at the gym - Bum/Arms
Thursday - Rest/ Dog walk
Friday - Pregnancy cardio workout with added bum workout (a few taken from strength regime)

I'll share my personal regime with you and I will link the pregnancy videos I follow below (I am in my second trimester - currently at 19 weeks, but I will continue with this regime until I feel heavily pregnant/ my body can't do it anymore. When that point comes I just plan to walk lots.)

Strength workout summary:

Squats: squat with shoulder press/ sumo squats/ pulse sumo squats I was squatting with 40kg on a smith machine but now 12kg - 14kg divided in to two weights and 8kg kettlebell for sumo squats. On average I do 15-20 reps x3 of each exercise.
Deadlift: I was using a 30kg bar but now I use 15kg - 15 reps x3
Mat workouts: Fire Hydrants/ kick backs no weights 15-20 reps each exercise x3
Cable side kicks: lowest weight or I use a black resistance band with a heel attachment at home - 10-15 reps x3
Arms: over head shoulder press/ bicep curls/ triceps kickbacks/ triceps extension all with 2.5kg weight - 12-15 reps x3

Pregnancy Cardio Workouts:





There are loads and loads of pregnancy workouts to follow on Youtube - but these particular 3 suited me as they are quick and snappy and challenge me without going over board!

If you have any questions or want to chat baby, feel free to get in touch - RobynJaneblog@gmail.com

STOP using the PILL and know where you stand with your FERTILITY

So if you have read my last post, you will know that I have PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome) which is fairly common and linked to infertility. I had absolutely no reason to think I had anything wrong with my reproductive system so I want to tell you my story, to raise awareness and hopefully buy women more time to figure out where they stand in terms of having kids. This post will be quite detailed and personal. So sorry if you feel it's TMI (Too much information).

So I started my periods around the classic age of 13. They were extremely normal, not too heavy and not too light, regular, not painful and lasted 5-8 days in total. I had natural periods until I was around 16. I decided to go on the pill when I was 16 due to my hormonal acne. I really struggled with my skin and had been given medication by the hospital but nothing worked. So my mum took me to the doctors to get me on the pill. The pill ended up giving me perfect skin, and that's how I know my acne is hormonal. I ended up being on the pill for 8 years and still had regular 'fake' periods which didn't seem much different to my natural ones. I came off of the pill in October 2016 due to my hypochondriac ways/ witchy senses. All of a sudden being on the pill just felt so wrong! It didn't help that I was reading stories of young healthy girls dropping dead of blood clots due to the pill, plus my cholesterol was borderline high (hereditary) and my blood pressure was always high when tested (anxiety). So I felt like I was at risk being on the pill and the idea of something stopping my fertility for a decade worried me. So at 24, I came off of the pill and made my boyfriend of a year and a half wear the protection because it was the right thing to do for my body. I was no way ready for kids, and hadn't even thought about trying. Our relationship was still fairly new and starting a family was the last of our worries.

I was lucky and my periods never stopped being regular, I came off of the pill and still got my regular period. There was no delay, no gaps which can be common when coming off of the pill but I was OK. I started to get hormonal acne again, although no where near as bad as it was in my teens but I didn't care, I felt grateful that everything was working as it should be. At this point I decided to get a period tracking app (there are loads of free ones available), where you mark down when you started your period and when you finished and then it tells you when you're next due. It also estimates when your most fertile days are which are good to know for girls trying to get pregnant and girls who DO NOT want to get pregnant! Fast forward 6 months and my periods began to change. They were still every 26-28 days but they were becoming incredibly light. I had always been used to the opposite so this worried me. As the months went by they became lighter and lighter to the point of only lasting for a day. One month my period was a whole week late which had never happened to me before. I was under a lot of stress and borderline depression that particular month so I put it down to emotional trauma. But I did start taking pregnancy tests every month because I didn't want to be pregnant and just not know about it (even though we were using protection). All tests were negative and the trusty condom never failed me. But that meant that I had a problem. 

I went to the doctors after about 8 months of having periods that only lasted one to two days and asked if I could have PCOS? The first doctor I saw laughed and said 'no, I very much doubt it'. He went on to explain that I didn't show the classic signs (weight issues, very bad skin, thick coarse facial and body hair). So I went away feeling like I hadn't solved anything. Another month of a basically non existent period went by (I felt like my ovaries were shrivelling up by this point lol) so I went back to the doctors because this was SO important to me! I wanted to be able to have children and I felt like I was catching my body transitioning to an infertile phase and I wanted to do something about it before it was too late! This time I saw a lady doctor and she said that I could have PCOS, so she sent me for an ultrasound scan. I asked if there was anything I could take medically or herbally to help my hormones. I had done my research (freaking myself out in the process) and had learnt of supplements and medication a lot of PCOS sufferers took which regulated their hormones and fertility. The NHS do not really support herbal medication so she had no answer for me and proceeded to tell me that they only offer medication and specific blood tests when you are trying for a baby and are failing to get pregnant. SO there was no cure available for me until that point.

The ultrasound scan happened, and the guy was very very blunt and to the point, he did a very quick scan and told me we were all done. I asked him if I had PCOS, and he replied so very casually 'Yes, lots of cysts on BOTH ovaries' and that was that. I walked away feeling like my body had betrayed me, why had my periods been so textbook until now? Had the PCOS only just appeared? 

I went back to the doctors after doing my own research and asked if they could give me a blood test to see if I was ovulating. I wanted to know where I stood, I wanted to know if I should try for babies NOW before the PCOS gets worse, I didn't know if it could get worse? The doctor once again told me that they do not do those tests until you are trying and failing to get pregnant. But she could offer me one test to see roughly if I was ovulating. They were so unhelpful and booked me in for a test any old time when actually it should have been at a certain point in my cycle. They didn't care because I wasn't actively trying for a baby. I felt so alone and confused by it all. I also asked if they medically recommended I try for a baby sooner rather than later, and they didn't give me a straight forward reply, only that the younger you are the more fertile you are. So I went away and bought myself a clear blue ovulation kit (which I never got to use). If the doctors were not going to accurately test my blood to see if I was ovulating, then I was going to have to look in to it myself. I needed to know where I stood, because me and James wanted kids and if that meant sooner rather than later then so be it.

That very day I was so emotional and told James everything, I am a very dramatic person in situations like this and told him how I may not be able to have kids and I didn't want to leave it any later because having kids was my plan in life, my dream. And although he didn't feel ready, he had always wanted kids too. We had already planned to try for a baby the following year but I stressed, 'it could take months for me to conceive, I may not even be ovulating! I may need treatment next year! Right now time is on our side so I say scrap the contraception and lets see what happens.' Bless him, the whole subject scared the life out of him. He thought having a child meant that he would lose a lot rather than gain. But I knew deep down that he would absolutely love being a Dad, he just needed to experience it. I comforted him by talking about future trips and activities with a baby in tow. No more picnics for two, how about three? An excuse to go to those fun mazes once they're old enough, the excitement of taking them on holidays, the thrill of seeing them experience things for the first time. His life would be enriched not dulled down and restricted.

So the next month rolled around, I went for my blood test and tried not to think too much into it. I had actively changed my lifestyle by eating very healthily (no sugar apart from weekends, no gluten) and I was exercising 3-4 times a week as always. I was losing weight and toning up quickly, so i felt good about myself! The PCOS had not effected my metabolism thankfully, I had always been a healthy weight but I wanted I keep it that way. I have always been active and fit and I have been lifting weights for two to three years so I really think that has helped my metabolism opposed to the usual cardio. I also took vitex for 6 months (before my diagnosis) because a homeopath had said my hormones were out of whack and that would help. Turns out Vitex is a a herb sometimes used for PCOS so I will never really know if that helped or not.

That month I was one week late for my period. After months of irregular periods and a pregnancy test each time (because I had no answer for what was happening), this month felt different. I just thought 'oh well that's my ovaries giving up on me entirely then' because I had a diagnosis I didn't feel the need to get a  pregnancy test. I didn't want to see that horrible negative line again reminding me that I was infertile. Baring in mind that through all of those months of pregnancy tests, I had never had unprotected sex but last month I had -but that didn't seem to matter, I had already written my fate. I told my mum casually that I was a week late, she asked if I was using contraception and I said no. So she said 'ermmm, I think you need to take a pregnancy test' I rolled my eyes and said 'Pffft I doubt it' She went on to tell me that she was extremely fertile back in the day and it only took one time to get pregnant, lets just say my brother was conceived a few months earlier than planned. But I just argued ' I have PCOS, you didn't. Good for you that you were that fertile, but not me, no need to rub it in, you just don't get it, GAAAD'. 

That day she got me a test and i took it the next morning (first wee of the day they say). I was shaking taking the test because reality hit me, I actually COULD be pregnant. But what I have left out is that we had only scrapped the contraception ONE time, because after my emotional breakdown, James talked me into waiting 6 months, so we could get a house and move from the flat we are in, which made sense and was a compromise to make him feel a bit better about it all. So while taking that test I thought SHIT I COULD ACTUALLY BE PREGNANT. I waited 3 minutes before looking, my mum was harassing me on whatsapp, she wanted to know. It was weird having someone know I was taking a test, it made it real. I looked at the test, preparing myself for that negative line, reminding myself that the chances were slim and not to feel to heartbroken at the result. But TWO lines appeared !!! POSITIVE! I told my mum and she congratulated me but all of a sudden I didn't feel like this was a good thing, I didn't want to be congratulated. I knew James didn't want this yet and I was scared. But as the same time I cried with relief, I was so happy I was pregnant, So happy I was fertile. I told James and we both freaked out together. He hugged me before leaving to go to work and told me everything would be OK. It took us a few weeks to get our heads around it, it wasn't exactly an accident but it wasn't planned for now, however it was happening and it was a blessing. I looked back at my period tracking app and worked out that I had conceived exactly when the app said I would be ovulating.

Our family could not have been happier, we are so excited to welcome the first grandchild in to our parents lives. James is loving the idea of being a Dad, we are so ready as a couple and so grateful that this has happened to us without any drama or medical intervention. The doctors ended up ringing me about my ovulation blood test, to tell me that actually I was pregnant. And I said, oh yeah I know. Old news doc. (well not exactly those words)  A small part of me did feel stupid about it all, but I did have to diagnose myself and I do have PCOS, I am just extremely lucky that I am still ovulating.
I ended up going for a private scan at 7 weeks, because although I was pregnant, I was worried it wouldn't stick because the first trimester is a scary and unstable time, even more so for PCOS sufferers. Even though my little baby was just a blob, they already had a strong heartbeat and they say once you hear the heartbeat, your risk of miscarriage goes down a lot. She also looked at my ovaries and I told her I had PCOS. She replied ' I see the PCOS, but only around the edges and you're ovaries are not enlarged which is unusual because they usually are with PCOS' I can not tell you what a relief it was to hear that! I can't believe the NHS didn't tell me anything about any of that! I was left to assume the worst yet the private scan had really put my diagnosis in to perspective. 

So after this long blog post, if you are still reading. I want you to consider three things:
1. If you ever want to have kids, whether that be in 2 years or 10, come off of the pill. Know where you stand with your fertility. Give your body time to figure itself out. I never would have known about my PCOS if I had remained on the pill. And if I would have come off of it at 28 or whenever James had decided he was ready, it could have been too late for me. I don't know how it works or if it can get worse in time, but the older you are the harder it could be especially with existing medical issues (whether you know about them or not.)
2. If you have PCOS go for a private scan to get an in depth analysis. My early pregnancy scan gave me so much more information and gave me huge comfort.
3. EXERCISE and keep to a healthy weight. It is easier to get pregnant with PCOS when you have a healthy BMI, not to mention there as SO many more risks in pregnancy when you are overweight. Everyone gains weight during pregnancy so you want to have a healthy starting point. I recommend lifting weights, not super heavy but not too light either. Challenge yourself and build muscle, that muscle will up your metabolism and help you lose weight. Cardio is an add on side option to burn the calories but weight lifting should be a priority to build up that metabolism. Make it your mission to get to a healthy weight before you get pregnant because once you are pregnant, they say you should not do anything your body is not used to doing. SO you shouldn't start lifting weights when you're pregnant, only continue to lift lighter weights if you are used to it (which is what i'm currently doing). 
As always, if you want to talk to me about anything, feel free to email me or connect with me via social media. RobynJaneblog@Gmail.com x

I'm pregnant!

It's been a long wait but I finally feel ready to reveal my news. I'm pregnant! It's been an absolute whirlwind since finding out. I am currently 17 weeks pregnant and already know the sex (although it's a secret until the 20 week scan confirmation).  I've always wanted to be a mum and I've never really been one to enjoy the 'young' life. I hated going to nightclubs, alcohol always makes me feel more crappy than the average person, I'm an introvert and hate socialising in big groups, I have no desire to go travelling and I work for myself, so becoming a Mum has made me feel like my life is finally beginning. I have a purpose, I have a source of eternal happiness, I have a vulnerable little being to look after and focus my attention on, I have a new source of inspiration, I have my own family and it all just feels so right.

Long story cut short, this pregnancy was planned and wasn't planned. It's a very confusing story and I never know how to tell people, I feel like I have to explain myself which is ridiculous because I am an adult in a long term relationship. Most of my family (expect those closest to me) were quite shocked because 1. I'm not married (like that matters in this day and age) 2. I come across as young. I think it's because I'm shy, I haven't followed the 9-5 job pattern because I have always been able to work for myself and I have only ever been in one proper relationship, which somehow all translates to 'you're too young?'. Let's just say I cut the crap, in all avenues of life. And now i'm cutting the crap with starting a family. I have found my forever partner in life, somebody who is not only there for me but who would also make an amazing Dad, and I am ready to be a Mum. Why should I wait for what society deems an acceptable time to start a family? What is that? age 28-30 and married? Why? .. I'm 25 and will be 26 when my baby is born and James will be 29. We already know we're eventually getting married and are buying a house together. Perfect.

So when I got shocked reactions to my pregnancy because of my age or life situation, it really got my hackles up because I hate being judged.

Another BIG reason as to why I wanted kids sooner rather than later was due to fertility issues. What EVERY girl who wants to be a mum dreads. I always had a massive massive fear that I wouldn't be able to have children because I wanted them so so badly, I've never been that girl to dream of a wedding but I have always dreamt of having children. Family is everything to me and I am a carer, I love caring for my family, I always need somebody to care for to bring me joy. I have also been known to feel intuitively if something was wrong and this fertility issue was really really bugging me all of a sudden from the age of about 24/25. Long story short because I want to go into this in detail in my next post (because I feel it could help a lot of girls), I found out I had PCOS Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome in October this year. I KNEW it was coming, I KNEW something was wrong, I KNEW this constant message or feeling of  'you need to try soon' had reason behind it. I was devastated, I didn't know what this diagnosis meant for me. James was not ready at all to be a Dad, to the point of potentially breaking up with me over it. It was a very very sensitive subject for us as a couple but once I had my paranoia printed out in black and white (on top of my already existing hypothyroid condition which automatically puts me in to the high risk category in pregnancy), he took me seriously and he changed his mind frame because potentially it is now or never and we both want to be parents. 

What men do not understand is, us women sometimes do not get to choose when to have children, our bodies decide for us. Already at age 25, I feel on the brink of being defined medically as an older mum. Did you know with age your chances of miscarriage, complications, down syndrome etc etc go up year by year? Reading through all of my medical notes and information a lot of these risks, like gestational diabetes goes up age 25 and over.  This gives you a clue:

- Risks of down syndrome in a pregnancy:

  age 20: one in 1,500

  age 30: one in 900

  age 40: one in 100

  age 45: one in 50 or greaterhttps://www.babycentre.co.uk/a538711/how-age-affects-pregnancy#ixzz55fYnsxYv

People (mostly men) need to be aware of these risks and how our bodies are actually designed to have kids earlier rather than later, and that in a nutshell was my argument to James. I wanted age to be on my side because my body is already going against me. So here we are, expecting our first child - which to me feels like a miracle.

This blog will document my pregnancy journey - Fertility information and advice,  First trimester scares and symptoms, second and third trimester progress, fitness regime, baby shopping hauls, bump updates, labour story, baby progress etc etc! Follow my instagram, twitter and Youtube to follow me via social media :)

Thanks for following my journey, Robyn x