As a second time mum, this time around I feel a lot more laid back. I look back at raising my first and the worries that plagued my every day decisions. Am I doing this right? What is everyone else doing? What is the advice? This time around I realise that none of that really matters as long as you're always caring for your baby and being safe. Do not over think the little things.
One topic I see posted a lot in new mum groups is 'What's your baby's routine? When do they sleep? How long do they sleep for? How many naps?'
Health visitors drill into you that routine is everything and it is after a certain point. But when they're babies, does it really matter if they're napping at the same time every day and in their own space (cot, moses basket etc). From my experience it doesn't.
My first baby was a needy little thing, the only way she napped was on me no matter how often we tried to put her down for a nap. So I accepted that this was her, this was her nature, being alone was her fear and I understood that because as a child I hated sleeping alone too and I still remember that feeling. So she napped on me whenever she wanted to and as she got older she either napped in her pushchair or in our bed as I lie next to her until she closed her eyes. She went to bed when we went to bed around 10pm and I remember feeling guilty that she was going to bed so late when other babies were in bed by 7pm. But in truth she was sleeping on me from around that time and then put into our bed when we went to bed (fed to sleep if she woke up). Up until she was about 21 months our routine was very flexible. Especially the first year when they are constantly napping and waking and napping and waking. I didn't time her naps or count them. But then I started to notice a pattern develop.
As she got older she slept in the morning and then in the afternoon around the same time. Her body had naturally developed a routine. So I went with that. As she got older and grew in to a toddler we started to put her to bed at 7.30 in her own bed as she was more capable of understanding the process and comfortable being a little bit more independent. She was 21 months when we began a bed time routine.
With my second I ignore all suggestions of a routine. She is bathed every 2 days and washed on the days in between. She naps whenever she naturally falls to sleep and she stays with me until I go to bed. Bottle, Bath, Bed didn't work for us until my first was a toddler so I will continue to follow my babies lead just as I did with my first.
Everyone parents differently and every child is different. Not every child is needy and not every child suits going to bed alone. Follow your own mothers instinct despite clinical advice coming from a disconnected society. Go back to the basics, feel that primal instinct within you. Mothers having been raising little humans for thousands of years. We know what is best for our babies so trust yourself and try not to compare yourself to others.
